Thankfullness 2018 - 2019
I could give you a long list of all the pain I’ve endured over the last couple of years – physical and mental, almost continuous. I could tell you about many medical emergencies that I’ve endured over the years too, but I won’t. I have much to complain about? Life isn’t fair! Isn’t God supposed to protect me? If He loves me, why all this crap!! If anyone has a right to complain, I’ve earnt it! You should feel sorry for me – I’ve suffered! The photo sums up what my last year has been like –painful! (I ran into a plate glass door without markings.)
There’s something unappealing and off-putting about grumblers/complainers. We’re all selfish at heart and we can give sympathy for a minute or too, but then it gets boring. Me listing pain does no one any good. It upsets me to regurgitate pain (relive it) and is off-putting to you!
Do I concentrate on my problems? Feel sorry for myself and get consumed by my problems. Yes, sadly I have. Many things that bother me need sorting, so I can’t just ignore them. It’s healthy to acknowledge pain, but don’t wander into addictive self-pity.
One of the keys to survival and peace of mind is thankfulness. My house flooded in March 2018 and caused £68000 of damage. BUT it was paid by insurance – I have a newly decorated home (but it did take 19 months of haggling because we were assigned cowboy builders). The water went round everything that we treasure – sentimental, irreplaceable things. One of my first ways of coping was thinking about people in Syria who’d had to flee with nothing – several times! Living with close friends while our house was rebuilt has given us an even deeper friendship, as shared suffering brings a close bond between people. My physical suffering gives me time to stop and think. Time to spend with God, deepening my trust in Him. God doesn’t keep us safe from trouble. He’s not our ‘Fairy God Mother’ but He does promise to help us through trouble. God redeems anything.
When I’m in pain, I put on uplifting Christian music, I quote Bible verses to myself and I try to remember the good things in life. My family, my home, my friends, my church, my job, my usual good health and healing from what could have crippled me. I do cry and grieve when life is hard but I try to concentrate on good and being thankful, which is so much healthier than concentrating on pain! You don’t have to look far for something to be thankful for. Thank God for life, for breath. Make the most of what you have rather than striving for what’s missing. Sadly we take for granted what we have and we concentrate on what we don’t have. Our materialistic culture feeds off our dissatisfaction. Have you ever seen any of the videos of people hearing for the first time with new implants? There are other videos of people putting on sunglasses that cure colour-blindness? When have you ever stopped to say thank you to God for colour? Imagine living in a world of grey that suddenly turns in Technicolour! I challenge you to watch those videos and not to cry along with the people who are so excited about seeing colour for the first time ever!
There’s only one you and God loves you more than you’ll ever understand. He loves you just the way he made you. Fat, skinny, ugly, weird are all things that don’t bother God. Don’t let it bother you. You’re God’s precious child, warts and all. Be a thankful person and people will want to spend time with you because you’re a breath of fresh air in an uncertain, unsatisfied, painful world. I’m still alive and I try to be thankful for it.
​
Andy (Christmas 2019)